Make time for ‘me time’: 5 solo date night ideas

Sometimes, it seems as if the world is designed for pairs. Like riding a tandem bike or buying a house in Ireland, some activities are simply unfeasible without a partner.

With ‘cuffing season’ still in effect, many singletons may be feeling pressure to seek out a significant other for the colder months. Because how could you possibly get a cosy hot chocolate in a café or wobble around the short-term ice rink alone?

Well, you can. And you should.

Welcome to the world of solo dating.

The turn of the self-love tide

Though loving yourself is particularly trendy right now, we’ve come a long way to get to this point.

Emma Watson’s description of herself as ‘self-partnered’ was met with backlash and ridicule in 2019. Meanwhile, in 2023, Miley Cyrus told us she could buy herself flowers and hold her own hand, and she broke a record for the fastest song to hit 1 billion streams on Spotify.

Maybe we’ve been influenced by Gen Z’s prioritisation of self-care. Or maybe it’s a natural response to dating app burn-out. (Those who’ve served time on the Tinder line will know why a solo date is often more appealing.)

Whatever the reason for this sea change, there’s no denying the perks.

Why solo dating is so good

If the notion of solo dating makes you anxious, try to reframe it. Don’t dwell on what you’re missing – instead focus on what you gain from being alone.

The most obvious benefit of solo dating? You can do what you want. Too often in relationships, we lose sight of what our personal hobbies and preferences are. When you’re on your own, you have no one to please but yourself.

Another advantage is that you tune into your surroundings more. This mindfulness is like a sixth sense – it can help you notice things more clearly and even calm you down in stressful situations.

And finally, one of my personal favorites: you don’t have to ‘eat pretty’. On a traditional date, you might avoid the chicken wings because they’re too messy. On a solo date, you have free rein to eat like a gremlin if you so wish.

5 solo date night ideas

OK, now that you’re sold on solo dating, let’s take a look at the best ways to spend some quality ‘me time’.

1. Have a spa night

You know the drill. Light a scented candle. Order your favourite food. Select the perfect Spotify playlist. Get a mask for everything: hair mask, face mask, those weird little foot masks that take off a layer of dead skin.

2. Go to the cinema

Do you feel guilty going to the cinema in summer for fear you’ll miss out on the 30 minutes of sunshine bestowed upon us? Luckily, it’s autumn! Find out what new ridiculous film Liam Neeson is in and give your brain a well-deserved break.

3. Head on a nature walk

Who isn’t a fan of crunchy leaves? The first week of October is peak crunchy leaf time. Pick your nearest forest walk and make like Reese Witherspoon in Wild.

4. Be a tourist in your own town

Pretend you don’t live there and look up the best thing to do in your town or city. A hop-on, hop-off bus tour might unearth little nuggets you never knew about your homeplace. If you have the luxury of a nearby train service (soz Donegal), become a day-tripper.

5. People-watch at a coffee shop

And finally, the mother of all solo dates: people-watching at the cutest coffee shop you can find. Nab a window seat, bring a book as a prop, and watch the world go by.

Solo dating is a form of exposure therapy – the more you do it, the more you’ll enjoy it. And to quote Diane von Furstenberg, “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”